My phone’s gallery looks like an orchard, a curse of my indecisiveness. She loves pink, but her favorite is the yellow sunflower–does that even match? Then there’s the whole language of flowers you have to take into account. Yellow roses mean friendship and that feels too adjacent to sunflowers and I don’t want her to get the wrong idea. If my friend didn’t own a flower store I’d have trouble getting them on time too. After talking it through and landing on an arrangement, it’s my wallet’s turn to stress out. 

Try going through all that without taking a step back and reevaluating the whole tradition.

Flowers have always been the most contentious Valentine’s gift. You can’t eat them and they’re far from practical. Quite the opposite–you’re passing the responsibility to take care of them onto the recipient, lest they wither away on the sala table. 

 A survey of the office tells me that most men are leaning towards other gifts for their significant others. Sweets, pendants, plushies, a chicken nugget bouquet, what have you. Some even opted for lego flowers that you have to build–a fun afternoon for partners if they manage to stay awake the whole time. 

But ask the other half and you’ll find they still hold out for flowers. 

If it’s so inconvenient for both parties, then why has this tradition persisted for so long?

The tradition of giving flowers dates back to ancient civilizations, where Greeks and Egyptians used them in religious rituals and as offerings to gods​. During the Victorian era, people used flowers to send secret messages when open emotional expression was restricted​. 

Sunflowers for adoration and loyalty, lilacs for first loves, poppies consolation, and roses love. Yellow for platonic love, red for romantic. A single stem for simplicity, multiple for important occasions or great expressions of affection, and a shit ton of them for when you look at your bank account and think “I have too much in my savings account”.

In the 20th century, the industry was commercialized, with flowers becoming common gifts for various occasions, including wartime remembrance​, Mother’s Day, and Valentine’s Day.

I receive the bouquet on Valentine’s Day, clean up the table clutter to make room for it, set it carefully, and stare at it for about an hour. It’s impossible to ignore that intrinsic effect flowers have on people. The way each petal overlaps with the other so gently, the way the florets are tightly packed, as if they were to either bloom together or not at all. Florists don’t get enough credit for their craft. 

Other than symbolizing love and all those good, adjacent nouns, flowers are just really damn pretty. The 1637 Tulip Mania saw tulip prices reach $1 million American bucks in today’s money. The market crashed when people realized how stupid the whole ordeal was, but it speaks to how much we value the small creations nature takes time to make. 

After snapping out of my trance, I hurriedly made my way to my partner’s house to avoid Valentine’s traffic–I did not. The car took several strange turns which only made the trip longer. I sit in my seat antsy to get there, with every road bump spiking my heart rate as I try desperately to protect the flowers from being jostled too much.

Flowers have been, and perhaps always will be, a proof of love. Its absence does not imply the absence of love, but unless the recipient is allergic to pollen, it’s almost a rite of passage. They are a proof of care; a disproof of incompetence and indifference towards the relationship.

Floriography aside, every flower has an underlying message. “I thought about you enough to get you flowers” 

I arrive at her house, ring the doorbell, and hope for the best. I thought about the arrangement, not in its best shape after the car ride but not completely ruined. I thought about the choice of flowers–I had asked a friend to pry and find out what her favorites were, but maybe she had just thought of a random flower on the spot. What I did not think about was whether or not she would even want to receive flowers. I knew she would, and she did.

In a time when every new innovation is about practicality and streamlined processes, seemingly moving towards maximum efficiency, it’s nice to know we still keep inefficient traditions for other people where it matters. And no matter how much flower shops try to make it easier for people with online orders and deliveries and affordable options, buying flowers will always be inconvenient. 

Flowers are inconvenient, but what a beautiful thought it is for someone to inconvenience themselves for you.